But I am already awesome

A couple of weeks ago I took Melania(my 10 year old) to a mother/daughter workshop, Inside-Out-Strong. I was very excited to have her hear someone else talk about positive body image and strength of mind, heart and body. Because, let’s face it, kids pay way more attention when someone(anyone!) other than their parent tells them something.

When I was pregnant and found out I was having a girl, one of my first thoughts was that I would do everything in my power to protect her from dealing with the eating disorder and body image issues that I had suffered from.  It scared me, really scared me, since there is a genetic component to eating disorders. I try to talk about our bodies as “healthy and strong” vs. “thin or fat”, and promote just  being active over pressuring her to play a specific sport. I am still, at 46 years old, a work in progress in the positive self talk arena but have come a long way and want her to realize the power our thoughts have over us.

Enter Sarah Schall, developer of Inside-Out-Strong, a program to help girls build their hearts, minds and bodies. We arrived at the workshop with our yoga mats and water bottles, and at least 1 of us was excited:)  Melania took a little coaxing because “I don’t need this, I am already awesome”.  We did yoga, HIIT, and zumba(her favorite!), and did several “work ins” where, among other things, we listed negative things we said about ourselves, and positive ways we could describe ourselves instead.  Here is where it got real for me. Melania had NO negative words that she said about herself, however she could name some things that she has heard me say about myself that were not so positive.  I thought I had eliminated those thoughts and words and surely thought that I never said them when she was around. It is scary how automatic that way of thinking becomes after YEARS of negative self talk, and it doesn’t change over night.

I don’t doubt that I got as much out of the workshop(or more) than Melania did, and it opened the door for some serious conversations that I know we will have as she enters the teenage years. It was a very powerful experience for me, as it showed me how far I have come and how much more work there is to do as I raise a daughter who will hopefully always think ” I am already awesome”.