I just can't

These 3 words seem to be my answer to almost everything right now. I am feeling super overwhelmed, disconnected, and just DONE with a lot of things in my life.

"I just can't" meaning that I can't even process certain thoughts, that I just can't even face the clutter that needs to be tended to, that I just can't even see where to start digging myself out.

I just can't meaning that everything is just too overwhelming for me right now.

I have brought it all on myself. I say YES to far too many things. I got better at this for quite a while but found myself gradually getting back into the groove of packing my days so full that I had zero downtime. I am an introvert and NEED plenty of downtime to recharge, and when I don't get it, I start on a downward spiral.

Why do I do this?? Good question. 

I have seen this quote many times and it resonates with me:

“Feeling the need to be ‘busy’ all the time is a trauma response and fear-based distraction from what you’d be forced to acknowledge and feel if you slowed down.”

I also think to some degree it's FOMO, what will I miss out on if I say NO? Or worrying what others will think about me if I am not being productive 24/7. Will they think I am lazy? Will they question my dedication to being a great health coach? Will they take me seriously?

I think the real question here is WHY DO I LET THE FEAR OF WHAT OTHERS THINK dictate my life? Why am I running myself into the ground to prove myself to others?

In Brene Brown's book The Gifts of Imperfection, she describes feeling WORTHY.

".. .we stand outside our story and hustle for our worthiness by constantly performing, perfecting, pleasing, and proving"

As women I think it's easy to struggle with our worth, and this is obviously a place that I need to explore more deeply.

I get little visions or pictures during my morning meditations, and the one I got a few days ago actually scared me. I saw my body, limp and lifeless being picked up off the ground and thrown over someone's shoulder.

If that's not a sign, I don't know what is.

So now, I just can't is going to mean something very different. 

I just can't give my time and energy to things or people that will not contribute to my peace and joy. I just can't get so caught up in the day-to-day "to-do" lists that I miss out on all the small miracles that occur daily and I just can't continue at this pace without sufficient downtime.

I am curious have you ever had an "I just can't" season? How did you handle it?